Second Best

Hey sorry for the long no-update. You see, after my fun, albeit tiring, excursion to repair houses for the underpriveleged in Kentucky, I had to spend a week playing my trumpet for 5 hours a day at band camp down at U of I, and then jet off to Las Vegas where I proceeded to do nothing because I am, in fact, too young to gamble, drink, visit strip clubs, you know, fun activities like that.

So today, I'm writing about a personal matter. Please excuse me if this gets too rant-ish.

I have an older sister. Two years older. A girl who I used to admire and respect, even though she drove me crazy. In the past year, however, I've come so close to just completely leaving my house because of her. Let me explain why.

First off, she's gorgeous. Naturally. She wears the ugliest outfits, but she has long straight hair and her boobs are huge and her face is small and pretty. Obviously, she gets all the guy attention. Which would be alright, except for the fact that she always dates younger than her. More specifically, the guy who is the same age as me that I had the most insane crush on for almost two years. I don't like him anymore, thank goodness, but I still get to see his face everyday thanks to the fact that EVERY SINGLE GUY in my grade likes her. And she picked him.

Second, along with the guy attention, she also gets the girl attention. She doesn't have many friends, and because of her young boyfriend, she hangs out with my friends and me all the time. Awesome. So everytime she's around, they completely ignore me. Even my best friend, who's in the same boat as I am with this sister thing, acts like she likes my sister more than me.

The thing is, though, I don't like her as a person. Not because she's my sister. Even if she wasn't, I would despise her. She has no depth. She is the shallowest person I know. I believe you can tell a lot about a person by their music taste, and her two favorite bands are Blink 182 and Weezer; bands that sing about sex and drugs and nothing of substance. She just turned 18 yesterday (happy birthday) and she wants to get a tatoo of (guess what?) the Blink 182 symbol. How ridiculous.

The reason I'm bringing this up is because I spent two of my three weeks away with her. ASP, the church mission trip, was spent with my church youth group, of which she is the only senior. There were five boys who went and they all followed her around like lost puppies. And most of them were my age or younger. And even in Las Vegas, we brought our 30 year old female cousin along, and all they did was make fun of me and rag on me. I sort of expected that, but it still brought me down. She's always the favorite. I'm just trying to accept my role as Second Best. That's just the way I see it.

I kept telling myself, only two months till she leaves for college. But I'm not sure if I can stand two more months of her. My friend invited me to go to Minnesota with some other friends, and one of her friends also is going up there, and he invited her. I didn't really realize until now that I'm going to have to deal with her for 10 days flirting with this kid who is newly single, and befriending all of my friends while I mope around and make them hate me more.

I'm just hoping karma comes through for me.

Alright. I'm out. Sorry for the long, annoying post.