Christmas

Funny how school can completely destroy a simple hobby like this.

Now that it's Christmas break, I've decided to start this up again.

Christmas with a boyfriend makes me realize a lot of things.

1. I like being alone when I have free time. To be honest, I'd rather spend the entire Christmas break at my house without friends.

2. I have to plan things a little more in advance. I can't just wing it and let everyone down in the process.

3. Buying presents is hard for people I don't know that well.

4. Winter is beautiful, but only from afar. I hate the cold.

I don't know exactly why I'm posting this. I just had to get back in the swing of things.

A Menu

I'm a lacto-ovo vegetarian (I eat fish, but no meat) and I always have trouble finding food at restaurants that I can eat. Also, I want to be a chef. So here's a menu of yummy veg foods:

Tomato, provolone, and mayonnaise sandwich
Egg noodles with tomato vegetable sauce
Caesar veggie sandwich
Udon noodle stir-fry
Cheese and mushroom sandwich
Noodle soup with mushroom and onion
Salad with raisins, mushrooms, onions, almonds, and balsamic dressing
Cheese wrap
Modified ratatouille
Bow tie pasta with basil, onions, garlic, and tomatoes
Hominy with cheese, onions, and red pepper flakes

I'll add more later.

The World is Mine

I'm not really a religious person; however, I saw this and I had to share:

Today upon a bus I saw a lovely girl with golden hair.
I envied her - she seemed so gay - and wished I were as fair.
But suddenly she rose to leave.
I saw her hobble down the aisle, she had only one leg and wore a crutch,
but as she passed, a smile...
Oh, God forgive me when I whine,
I have two legs, the world is mine.

I stopped to buy some candy.
The lad who sold them had such charm.
I stopped to talk to him, he seemed so glad
if I was late could do no harm.
As I left he said to me, "I thank-you, you had been so kind.
It's nice to talk to folks like you, you see," he said,"I am blind."
Oh, God forgive me when I whine,
I have two eyes, the world is mine.

Later while walking down the street,
I saw a child with eyes of blue.
He stood and watched the others play, he did not know what to do.
I stopped a moment and said,"Why don't you join the others, dear?"
He looked ahead without a word and then I knew,
he couldn't hear.
Oh, God forgive me when I whine,
I have two ears, the world is mine.

With feet to take me where I go,
with eyes to see the sun-set glow,
with ears to hear what I would know.
Oh, God forgive me when I whine,
I am blessed indeed, the world is mine!

Too often, people take things for granted. I'm constantly guilty of doing this. Be grateful for what you have, it could be taken away at any moment.

Colors

Have you ever wondered if someone sees different colors than you do?

I mean, it's impossible to prove that what I see as the color green is the exact same shade as someone else. Maybe my green is blue to them. Maybe that's why people have different favorite colors.

What if everyone's favorite color was the same shade, yet every person had a different name for it? Maybe my green is the same shade as my sister's purple. Maybe this shade is aesthetically pleasing to everyone.

Or maybe people do see different shades and favorite colors are dependent on personality. For myself, I don't understand how anyone could like the color orange, or purple, and yet I know people who love those colors. Perhaps our personalities really do affect the way we see shades and colors.

Isn't it amazing that this world is full of color?

And yet, what if there was another shade that humans just can't see? The typical rainbow is seen by most; but what if there is another color on a different planet that we have no name for; that we don't know exists?

It's hard to imagine a different color other than red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, black, white, brown, pink, or variations of these. But I bet, somewhere out there, there is a different color that we don't have a name for. It's impossible to imagine what it would look like, or to describe it, but it's probably out there.

Love: Part I

So I'm sitting here listening to the soundtrack from Pride & Prejudice and I'm just thinking about the basis for the movie.

What is it about mysterious people that gets us so attracted? Why do we chase after the one we aren't sure of rather than settle for the one we are safe with? Why indeed?

This is one of many posts I will eventually post about love. It's such an addictive concept. I, for one, am a true believer in love and romanticism. I believe in love at first sight. Ridiculous, I know, but I like the idea of it.

And this post is about to get bitter.

I don't understand why people throw love away like it's nothing. I hate how people seem to have no problem getting involved in "one night stands" or hook-ups. Whatever happened to being in love before having sex? Apparently, in this modern world, it's all about the immediate pleasure. Nobody ever thinks of the consequences.

Love is such an elusive feeling now. High school was such a culture shock to me. Everyone I know, even the people I thought were decent, cheat on their boyfriends/girlfriends. Fine, whatever, we're in high school, we're supposed to have fun. I just wish feelings didn't have to get hurt in the process.

People are aging and not maturing. While I'm waiting to find the one I love, everyone around me is fooling around with everyone else. It drives me insane.

I just wish, for once, that I could find something pure and real.

Listening

I saw a quote one time that really interested me. It went something like this:

"Nobody truly listens to you unless you're about to die."

Think of how true that is. You know when your friend is rambling on about some story that may be significant in their life, but surely isn't in yours, you're spacing out, occasionally nodding but really not paying any attention.

Take a good listen to the next conversation you have. Most of mine involve a race: who can tell the best story, who can interrupt the most, who can garner the most attention.

Try, for one entire conversation, to just listen. Listen to everything the person is saying to you, no matter how trivial it is. Imagine how you would feel in their position. Most people think that everyone they talk to want to hear about them. This is why these conflicts in conversation occur so often. I'm guilty of not listening on many occasions.

If you think you're wasting your time listening to a seemingly pointless story, think again. Instead of drifting thinking of nothing, you're learning something about the other person. You're learning what they like, what interests them. Try to expand your horizons and learn as much as you can about someone else. They'll appreciate it.

Clocks

Isn't time an incredibly surreal concept?

Think about it: we assigned numbers to correspond with the aging of the Earth.

Who decided the exact length of a second? What was there before this measurement? Why the number 60? Why not 100? Or 10?

I was watching the second hand tick in the doctor's office today. I thought it was weird that we connect the aging of our lives with the movement of a piece of plastic. I imagined my life dropping away with every click. Yet, that isn't true. My life ages no matter where I am, what I am doing, or whether there are any clocks by me. Clocks are simply a measurement of the constant aging of life.

Why do we accept the universal time? Granted, it makes life much simpler. But what if I changed my clock 30 minutes behind. Technically, I wouldn't be late to anything. That would be my time, and everyone else would just be early.

What if every person or family had their own time? The measurement of time is just a number. It's going to pass whether the clock is 5 minutes early or an hour late. It doesn't change the way the sun moves or how our bodies age.

It would be interesting to go a day with a time schedule 30 minutes behind. Tell me if you do that.

Originality

I apologize for the long hiatus, but I'm back from Minnesota, where I had a hell of a time (literally) due to the fact my friend's parents chastised me more than my own parents do.

(I like how I pretend that people actually read this.)

I just wrote down a blurb of a personal nature that I was going to post before I realized my last post was personal. Still nothing better with the sister. Worse, in fact, if that's possible.

Anyways, today I'm going to talk about originality.

Have you noticed the growing number of movies that were based on novels or remakes of old movies? I recently say My Sister's Keeper (great movie, I was crying the whole time) but I realized that there have been close to no truly original movies. Most of the original ones are asinine comedies.

This got me to thinking: when does the originality run out? When will all the ideas that could possibly be thought up by the human mind be thought up?

As you might know, I really want a career as an author, and I have so many ideas for novels that I'm planning to write. However, sometimes I wonder if anyone has ever thought of these ideas before. I'm sure someone has. Billions of humans live on this Earth, there is almost no chance of an idea occurring only once.

Take a look at Stephenie Meyer of the Twilight series or J.K. Rowling with Harry Potter. As much as I respect these women's writing, I have no idea how their series' got so popular, while others just as similar remained obscure. There are literally countless vampire novels; most with the same general concept as the Twilight series. And wizarding books? Please, there are even more of those.

This originality ordeal is really getting to me. How soon until movies, TV shows, even books are just tired reptitions of the same thing? I hope the ideas I have are solitary on this planet, but I can never be sure. People with original ideas need to guard them, before they're exploited into pop-culture.

It'll happen soon, just watch.

Second Best

Hey sorry for the long no-update. You see, after my fun, albeit tiring, excursion to repair houses for the underpriveleged in Kentucky, I had to spend a week playing my trumpet for 5 hours a day at band camp down at U of I, and then jet off to Las Vegas where I proceeded to do nothing because I am, in fact, too young to gamble, drink, visit strip clubs, you know, fun activities like that.

So today, I'm writing about a personal matter. Please excuse me if this gets too rant-ish.

I have an older sister. Two years older. A girl who I used to admire and respect, even though she drove me crazy. In the past year, however, I've come so close to just completely leaving my house because of her. Let me explain why.

First off, she's gorgeous. Naturally. She wears the ugliest outfits, but she has long straight hair and her boobs are huge and her face is small and pretty. Obviously, she gets all the guy attention. Which would be alright, except for the fact that she always dates younger than her. More specifically, the guy who is the same age as me that I had the most insane crush on for almost two years. I don't like him anymore, thank goodness, but I still get to see his face everyday thanks to the fact that EVERY SINGLE GUY in my grade likes her. And she picked him.

Second, along with the guy attention, she also gets the girl attention. She doesn't have many friends, and because of her young boyfriend, she hangs out with my friends and me all the time. Awesome. So everytime she's around, they completely ignore me. Even my best friend, who's in the same boat as I am with this sister thing, acts like she likes my sister more than me.

The thing is, though, I don't like her as a person. Not because she's my sister. Even if she wasn't, I would despise her. She has no depth. She is the shallowest person I know. I believe you can tell a lot about a person by their music taste, and her two favorite bands are Blink 182 and Weezer; bands that sing about sex and drugs and nothing of substance. She just turned 18 yesterday (happy birthday) and she wants to get a tatoo of (guess what?) the Blink 182 symbol. How ridiculous.

The reason I'm bringing this up is because I spent two of my three weeks away with her. ASP, the church mission trip, was spent with my church youth group, of which she is the only senior. There were five boys who went and they all followed her around like lost puppies. And most of them were my age or younger. And even in Las Vegas, we brought our 30 year old female cousin along, and all they did was make fun of me and rag on me. I sort of expected that, but it still brought me down. She's always the favorite. I'm just trying to accept my role as Second Best. That's just the way I see it.

I kept telling myself, only two months till she leaves for college. But I'm not sure if I can stand two more months of her. My friend invited me to go to Minnesota with some other friends, and one of her friends also is going up there, and he invited her. I didn't really realize until now that I'm going to have to deal with her for 10 days flirting with this kid who is newly single, and befriending all of my friends while I mope around and make them hate me more.

I'm just hoping karma comes through for me.

Alright. I'm out. Sorry for the long, annoying post.

ASP

Tomorrow morning I'm leaving to go on a mission trip with my church called Appalachia Service Project. Basically, it's where we go down to Kentucky or Tenneesee for a week and work on renovating old houses from families below the poverty level. I went on this last year, too.

You always hear stories of families or groups going down to somewhere, like Louisiana, or Haiti or something and helping out. For those who haven't experience something like that, it's nothing special. They think, "Well I don't have the money or resources to do that." But there are plenty of groups that will set things up for you.

Going to help people in poverty is like no other experience. Last year, we had the nicest family. We were to replace their roof, and even though we really didn't get as much done as we could have, the family really enjoyed our company. Both the wife and the husband's birthday was that week, so we bought cakes from WalMart for them. Talking to them, you would never even think they were trapped in poverty. The last day, we didn't have the materials we needed, so we spent the whole day talking to them. They made us an amazing Southern lunch, even though we're told not to let our families make us lunch. They insisted. The experience was completely life-changing. I know one of the girls on my team was crying when we left because she was going to miss them so much.

Why am I telling you this? Because before I went on ASP, I was just like some of you are. I'd hear the stories about people helping other people, and be all fired up to help for about a minute or so, and then go back to living my privileged life. After going on ASP, I realized that helping others is beneficial for the helper, too. You learn to appreciate the things you're given more. To think that a family living in a trailer with a sink that does't work and a house that's falling apart is happy and friendly. It makes you really feel bad when you complain.

I'm really looking forward to next week. I don't know what our families will be like, but I hope they can show me a new perspective toward life.

Forwardness

I don't understand. Humans always seem to hem and haw and edge around touchy subjects. Why don't we just flat out say what we want to say? Especially in high school, you hear stories about guys and girls that like each other but have done nothing about/haven't made a move yet. Why doesn't one of them just go up and say "Hey, I like you"? It would make things so much simpler.

It is nice; the chase. But it's nicer not to have to spend so much time trying to get one person, when you can just flat out hear their feelings. Unfortunately, one person is hardpressed to start this movement because humans are so accustomed to not hearing the entire, straightforward truth. They hear it through the grapevine, or through subtle hints. If one person started being extremely forward, he or she would most likely be shunned.

I propse a movement of forwardness. I propose the next time you want to tell someone something, you do it. Do those random urges, no matter how weird. Don't live your life regretting things you should have done.

But which is worse? Regret for something you didn't do, or regret for something that you did do and it went wrong? For me, it's the latter, which is why, perhaps, I don't take as many chances as I should.

I was recently at my sister's graduation, and the principal gave a speech. She's friendly and young, and she quoted a Nickelback song:

"If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?"

After she said those lyrics, I was ready to do anything. I was ready to go out in the world and tell everyone what I've been holding back. Sadly, that feeling left during the boring speeches and endless calling-of-names. Every so often, I try to recapture that feeling and live life as if I have nothing to lose. It's a good philosophy.

Eyebrows

Have you ever really thought about your eyebrows? I mean, they're just a random bunch of hair above your eye. They don't serve any purpose.

But think of life without them. Eyebrows are essential in conveying emotion. How would you know if someone was surprised, or sad, or angry? You can always tell by looking at his/her eybrows.

There's a girl that I know that basically has no eyebrows. She's plucked them so much that they don't exist. Needless to say, she looks a little strange.

And why do we (especially girls) pluck our eyebrows? Why is having a unibrow so gross? Society is weird. Why do girls shave their legs, but not their arms? Why don't guys shave their legs? Why do guys have to have shorter hair than girls?

Honesty

Time for something I'm a huge advocate for: honesty. There's not enough of it in the world now. I'm honest at all costs, and even if it hurts a friendship, I refuse to lie or pretend to be something I'm not.

One of my friends drives me crazy. I love her, but every other thing out of her mouth is something that isn't true. She makes up things about herself to make her life seem more interesting or to make guys interested in her. Eventually, her lies are going to be found out and nobody will trust her. I don't even trust her when she says I'm her best friend because she says it to everyone.

Don't be like that. It's okay if your friend asks something like "Am I fat?" and you say no even if you think they are. It's common courtesy. But if you're going to spread lies about yourself, you might as well destroy your name and everything you are.

The whole reason the world is how it is today is because people aren't honest. Think of all the problems that could be solved with honesty. Except people don't want to say the truth anymore because then they're considered mean or harsh. I don't understand how people feel good hearing compliments from someone who is obviously lying.

Languages

Even if you don't believe this, follow me for a bit.

Everyone has their one true love. The one person in the world made for them. But what if that person speaks a different language?

It's amazing to think that just a difference in the arrangement of letters and words can totally affect a person's love life. That person could have the perfect personality for you, but they don't speak English (or whatever) so you can't understand them. You'd probably never even meet.

On a related note: How is it that just a random combination of letters forms a word with a certain meaning? Every word you're reading right now, you understand, but what if I started typing like this: Sjiusj ehlla sidhfk ekeoifh lak ed u skjehjskd.

You would have no idea what that means. There are thousands of different combinations of letters that form words, but there are plenty more combinations that don't form words. At least not words that people understand.

Photo:


This is currently my desktop background. I took it at a Dairy Queen drive-thru on my awesome phone. Then I edited it heavily with Picasa 3, which conveniently came with this laptop.

Ever since I started taking pictures with my phone, I've started to notice the beauty in things. I see so many random images throughout the day that I just want to take a picture of so bad. So I often have 10 or 20 pictures on my phone that I have to sort through and edit and put on my DeviantART.

Until tomorrow, folks.

Toliet Thoughts

Don't you get the most profound thoughts while on the toliet?

I do.

Everytime I go to the bathroom, I just sit there and think. The bathroom is such a personal place. Nobody's in there watching you, there are no cameras (I hope) and you're free to do whatever you want.

I pray on the toliet. It's really a smart thing to do, if you like praying. You feel completely open and not judged. Think of how many times you go to the bathroom in a day. That's more praying than most people get done.

When I first sit on the toliet, I sort of collapse. It's so nice to be alone and not have to put on a facade for the people around me. That's also why I pray. I'm totally honest because I don't have to impress anybody.

On a related subject, go to this website: http://www.quickfasting.com/how_to_bm_.html

I read this about a year ago and have been doing it ever since. There really is a noticeable change once you start. Yes, talking about pooping is gross, but I suggest you try it.

That's it for today. More tomorrow.

Introductions

Hello! I'm Michelle, host of Load of Mish Mash.

I'm not going to do the typical about-me, blah blah blah. I'm sure you can read that in my profile.

Here's the low-down: I created this blog to speculate. The best way I can describe it is using someone else's words. (Isn't that always easier?)

From The Pillow Book of Sei Shonagon:
"Pillow Book: A notebook or collection of notebooks kept in some accessible but relatively private place, and in which the author would from time to time record impressions, daily events, poems, letters, stories, ideas, descriptions of people, etc." -Ivan Morris

This is going to be a little like an online Pillow Book. I'll post random thoughts, or maybe a poem or short prose blurb, or maybe a cool photo I took. I'm not looking for comments or discussions, just simply a place to spill my thoughts. I do hope I interest you as a reader and I spark some sort of thought in your mind. (After all, I do want to be an author.)

For today, I thought I'd just leave it at the introduction. Tomorrow will be an actual post. Happy reading!

(By the by, if you ever see a spelling or grammar error, please please please let me know. I am insane about those things and I'd hate to have something wrong in my blogs.)